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To Have a Friend Is to Be a Friend: 3 Steps for Networking

Two students talking at ConneXt
  • 16 Nov 2017
Kayla Lewkowicz Author Student Bloggers
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  • CORe
  • Career Development

"It’s no surprise that people like to do business with those they know and like. As they say, it’s not what you know; it’s who you know.

The thing about networking that folks often miss, though, is that it’s not about you. It’s about what you can do for others. As Adam Grant argues in Give and Take, “if we create networks with the sole intention of getting something, we won’t succeed. We can’t pursue the benefits of networks; the benefits ensue from investments in meaningful activities and relationships.”

Networking works the same way. By becoming a giver, you’ll naturally build your network—and hopefully make a positive impact on those around you along the way. Here are three steps to building your network by being a giver, rather than a taker.

Step one: Turn strangers into peers

To be able to help someone, the first step is actually connecting with them. Everyone you meet is looking for something to help achieve their goals, so be the one that can help achieve them. Doing so will open up new opportunities you would never have thought of before.

Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, everyone feels the nerves of networking. With that in mind, don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and approach someone at a mixer or development event who’s standing alone because odds are they are looking for someone to chat with just like you.

Networking isn’t exclusive to in-person interactions, either. If a friend of a friend posts something compelling, invite them to connect with you and thank them for their ideas. (Don’t forget to back that up with sharing it on your social channel of choice as well). Or if you’re taking an online class, like I did at Harvard Business School Online, treat it just as you would an in-person event. I met people from as far as Australia and India—and with the platform’s technology and a little bit of time zone finagling, I was able to work through class subjects with my newfound peers completely remotely.

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Step two: Turn peers into friends

Once you’ve made a connection, turn the weak tie into something stronger. With social media and online interactions, that’s easier than ever. If you’ve just met someone at a conference, find them on LinkedIn and send a quick thank-you note and connect.

Here’s a template to help you get started:

Hi [NAME], it was great to meet you at [EVENT]. Thanks for advice on [TOPIC]. I hope I get a chance to see you again at another event soon. If you’re ever in [YOUR LOCATION], let’s get coffee! –[YOUR NAME]

Then, follow up on a regular basis. That’s as easy as liking or retweeting a post or sending a quick DM to congratulate them on a new position. Spend time on those you meet; you’d be surprised how far a little empathy and interest will take your relationship, and it will certainly help turn someone from a peer into a friend.

Step three: Turn your assets into resources

Treat yourself as an asset, because whether you know it or not, you have a lot to offer someone else. Even if you’re not a seasoned professional, there’s probably someone you know that can open a door or provide some advice. What you may not consider a skill or ability may be exactly what others are looking for. Be in tune with what others say they need and if you fit the mold, offer yourself up. If you don’t, don’t hesitate to offer yourself as a resource for future endeavors.

Ultimately, business is about people. You have to put yourself out there and be willing to make connections and understand how you fit in the big picture. Step outside of your comfort zone and let yourself have some fun meeting new people. You never know who you’ll meet and what adventures you’ll have.

This post originally appeared on the Forte Foundation blog.

About the Author

Kayla Lewkowicz participated in the January 2016 cohort of CORe. She is the marketing coordinator for a tech start-up in Cambridge, MA who took CORe to better understand her company.
 
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We offer self-paced programs (with weekly deadlines) on the HBS Online course platform.

Our platform features short, highly produced videos of HBS faculty and guest business experts, interactive graphs and exercises, cold calls to keep you engaged, and opportunities to contribute to a vibrant online community.

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All programs require the completion of a brief application. The applications vary slightly from program to program, but all ask for some personal background information. You can apply for and enroll in programs here. If you are new to HBS Online, you will be required to set up an account before starting an application for the program of your choice.

Our easy online application is free, and no special documentation is required. All applicants must be at least 18 years of age, proficient in English, and committed to learning and engaging with fellow participants throughout the program.

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We also allow you to split your payment across 2 separate credit card transactions or send a payment link email to another person on your behalf. If splitting your payment into 2 transactions, a minimum payment of $350 is required for the first transaction.

In all cases, net Program Fees must be paid in full (in US Dollars) to complete registration.

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